Well, here’s the blog post I didn’t want to write: the Realm Makers 2022 recap.
I was pretty excited to get to Atlantic City a few weeks ago, if only because I’ve been traveling a bit more lately, and visiting a new place felt rather appealing. It didn’t hurt that I’d flown out the Saturday before to spend a few days in Connecticut, hitting museums and getting some words on paper. It was wonderful to be out and about and be an actual adult, not trapped in my house, feeling empty and aimless. I ate out alone, had conversations with absolute strangers, and had a total blast in general. I even stood on the beach and felt the sand between my toes.
But the conference itself?
It was terrible.
Well, the conference itself wasn’t, not exactly. Don’t get me wrong, the classes were great, as always—but it suddenly hit me just how much I don’t fit it.
People I knew from social media and introduced myself to had no idea who I was.
When I sat down at a nearly empty table, I was asked if I could move so someone’s group of friends could have a spot…twice!
My book wasn’t in the bookstore, despite being eligible. I can count on one hand the people who mentioned any of them.
Strangers I chatted up made every excuse to leave, even when I asked them about their writing.
I don’t know what happened. Maybe the isolation of the past two years has gotten to me and I’ve become that weird awkward person without realizing it. Maybe people are whispering behind my back. Maybe they just don’t want to talk to someone who’ll never sell a book to a prestigious publisher. Or maybe they truly were all there with friends and no desire to meet new people.
But it was disappointing for a conference where networking is a huge aspect and miserable for someone who needed that social outlet more than she needed classes on the craft of writing. Even worse, these were supposed to be my people, but even when I stepped outside my comfort zone and introduced myself to people who looked like they were lost, I found they didn’t even want to tell me about they latest story. And that means it’s not them, it’s me.
The good news is this: I don’t say any of this to complain. You win some, you lose some, right? But I wish someone had reassured me that just because a set of circumstances is perfect on paper, that doesn’t necessarily mean it’ll work out.
And that’s ok.
The ocean is so beautiful!