For whatever reason, sexism in publishing industry has reared its head again, and though I’m quite sick of its existence, it makes for a good opportunity to talk about it. Most know my story, so that’s not what I’m going to talk about tonight. No, I’m going to talk about–gasp–romance.
See, I know there are a few people out there feeling smug about their stereotypes as they pertain to my books. They feel entitled to think less of my work because I’m a woman who, yes, writes romance into her stories. To them, I’m just another girl who can’t keep the kissing scenes from her books.
But here’s the thing. Romance isn’t inherently bad. Especially in the kind of fiction I write–based more on character development than plot–it would be a mistake to not include it. Just look around you. Humans pair off. There’s a biological purpose to this, of course, but we’ve made it into more. In our society, love exists. It’s not something to be ashamed of, something to hide, something to avoid placing in our books. It’s human, and our books deserves that humanity.
Even more, romantic relationships aren’t even inherently feminine. I’m married. To, you know, a man. There are two of us in this relationship. Let me say that again–there are two, and that makes it a romantic relationship. Because romance isn’t flowers and Valentine’s cards and lingerie and candy and whatever else (thankfully, because that’s not my thing). It’s promising to stick with someone when the road gets rough. It’s deciding to stay with a person who isn’t always easy to get along with. Those aren’t gendered characteristics, people–they’re universal. They’re things that women and men deal with every day.
I’ve taken a lot of slack for the love interest in Asrian Skies, from it being unbelievable that they waited for each other for so long to the fact he exists at all. But it was important to me to show adults in a romantic relationship–and a healthy one. Avery and Merritt certainly aren’t perfect, and they make (a lot of) mistakes, but at the end of the day, they decide being together is more important. And in a marriage, that’s what matters.
Maybe men don’t write about these things as frequently as women, and that’s certainly their right. But they certainly participate in romantic relationships in real life…so why relegate those kind of stories to “books for women?” Ignoring these relationships is a sure way to delete some of our humanity from our work.
What do you think?
How did I miss this excellent post?
You are bang on. It takes two to tango (or more if you’re into that). Romance isn’t just happening to women. Yes, not all stories must have it, just as not everyone is looking for romance in their lives. That’s cool, too. But love is a part of human culture. And there’s no reason to look down on it as less serious of a subject to write about.